Very often I feel very small.
Unperfect, unfinished, not at all fitting my expectations.
I read great spiritual teachers and – oh my God! – they are so wise and they have so much life experience and frustrated I shake my head and look at my own poor existence.
Well, because I fell into the comparison trap… Went back to competition mode of which I once had decided to escape from.
But it isn’t that easy (of course…)
If you take your time and listen to a rosebud, if you listen very carefully and patiently, you will hear her whispering:
‘I am a rosebud. And I am surrounded by roses that bloom in all their beauty. Look at their tender petals, how they stretch out to please the eyes of every being coming along. Look at this elegance, this sheer perfection.
I am happy to see them around me. I feel no sadness, no envy. I am not angry on myself for not yet being in this beauty.
Because I feel the promise of this beauty that had been planted into my very existence. I trust this promise and thus I know that one day I will bloom as they do.’
It helps me a lot to keep the rosebud in mind when I fall back into competition mode and start to compare and evaluate.
I sit down and close my eyes and listen to the rosebud in my memory.
And suddenly I feel it:
The promise that had been planted into my existence, and I trust that it will come into bloom.
The when is not important, the trust is.